What the hell is wrong with zippers? Why do most trendy jeans have button flys? Button flys suck. Sure, it's pretty fun to unbutton them. You just pull the sides apart and enjoy that snappy feeling of buttons being released. Sure, it's even better to unbutton a button fly then it is to unzip a zipper. But what about reseting your fly to it's secure position? Resecuring a zipper fly is as simple as the initial unzipping action. Just reverse the previous motion. The button fly? Fat chance. I consider myself to be a fairly dexterous dude, as far as dudes go, but I think it takes me about three and a half minutes on average to button a button fly back up. If possible, of course, you want to unbutton only as many buttons as is necessary to loosen the pants over your ass. That way you can minimize the re-buttoning. But seriously, who wants to be so conscientious every time he or she uses the bathroom or disrobes? And supposing you get careless with your unbuttoning and undo every last button? How do you fasten the bottom button when you have so little room to work with?
I'm sure "Anonymous" will regale me with tales about how buttoning technology is so great, but you can go ahead and shove it Anonymous. Button flys suck.
2 comments:
My advice: Make sure you're utilizing both hands. That'll really help out in the button fly situation.
Otherwise, you're guaranteed to fail. Pat, make sure you're using both hands.
Fascinating pants must be accomplish-able [sic] even if you're drunk and holding a beer in one hand.
Button pants fail this test, and should never have made it past the product testing phase.
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